


overthinking

by irlkaijugroupie



Series: misadventures in the köttur [5]
Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst, emil is only mentioned at the end, i mean? mood???, lalli has an existential crisis while eating, sorry lalli :(, this is lowkey a vent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 04:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15284085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlkaijugroupie/pseuds/irlkaijugroupie
Summary: Lalli had mixed feelings about space.





	overthinking

**Author's Note:**

> zoo wee mama i wrote this at like 3 am after a panic attack
> 
> enjoy? i guess? i dont have the heart to look over this again but when i wrote it i thought it was pretty sick shit so i hope yall think it is too i guess

Lalli had mixed feelings about space. 

 

In space… he was nearer to his Gods than ever. In that empty vacuum, a call to them transcended space. The Gods were interwoven and met divinely, purely, only in space, far away from any planet. 

 

But while sound failed in the vacuum, the cries of the lost ones filled that silence. 

 

They were muffled by the walls of the Köttur and the galdrastafur that he had Reynir paint on it, but they never truly left. Hearing them on a planet was one thing. But hearing them all chorus together in the universe as a whole tugged at him in a way being on a planet never truly achieved. 

 

Same with the dream realm. It encompassed so much more than what  _ was _ on a planet. 

 

He had first sorely rejected it. And now, it wasn’t any less painful. 

 

But questions had begun to tug at him. 

 

Was it uncomfortable simply because it was unfamiliar? Was it uncomfortable because he was afraid of confrontation of his own flaws? Mistakes? That maybe all that effort to become apathetic and flat against the cries and manipulation of the hurting may not be enough?

 

The universe doesn’t care. He knows that. But he also knows, despite how uncomfortable it is to admit it, that the discomfort that comes when actually faced with an uncaring universe as a whole, that he hasn’t made peace with the revelation.

 

And he’s not sure if he ever will.

 

When he sees Emil’s clumsy attempts at comfort, and seeing that he means well but sometimes, just, misses, he feels a little more disillusioned at not only himself, but his place in a world that’s so unforgiving, yet populated by people who do.

 

Is it those who do care that make life something of worth, or are they just another obsolete factor in a wretched universe?

 

He knows that he cannot avoid these questions forever, but perhaps he can stall them a little longer by relishing on pastries that Emil bought and readily agreed to share.


End file.
